I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
