You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i think i just lost a toe
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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