Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
