Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
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