I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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