I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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