Quick, to the slutcave!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish they made helmets for livers.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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