You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
