Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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