Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
