Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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