Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
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Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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