Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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