I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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