i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
