hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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