Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
