As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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