Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
