eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
