I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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