I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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