I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
