Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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