And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize