look no pants
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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