No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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