Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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