How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.