Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Okay so I just had a really great idea