Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...