Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just gift wrapped bread.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.