Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.