after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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