If that was your dad, he is hot
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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