Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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