Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
