I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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