Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
