he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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