we're blogging at a bar
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
