I love black thongs
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
