so that wasnt chicken after all
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
