Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
