Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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