I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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