her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
