and you said cock pushups were impossible
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
