I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
