Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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