You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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