Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
