he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Boobs are out for the taking
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
