Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
