Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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