I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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