No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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