I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
