D3 body, D1 cock
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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