I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
